So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
