U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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