I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart