dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL