If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial