my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We had sex on a dog bed..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
