So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
