My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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