You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
