i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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