remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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