i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
