i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
