maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
