ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
