I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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