Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
