I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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