we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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