OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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