so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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