New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
