oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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