sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
home. puking in laundry basket.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
