she woke up with a sticky ear
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
