Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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