I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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