Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
