I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
