she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
