And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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