So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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