The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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