Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
