so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.