keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"