Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
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I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes