My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!