her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i out mim tonsoeep
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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