Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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