oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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