Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
