Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
high people should be assigned attendants
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
