im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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