he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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