Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
