Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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