he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
