We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
