I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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