If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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