But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
