I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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