Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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