she smelled like a LAN party
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
