So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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