no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
