true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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