I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize