Four minutes until I can fart!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize