There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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