fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
