I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
