am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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