thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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