roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
