Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
